Tonight was one of those nights were I thought I had some vague picture of what my current job would entail-- help someone do this, take a few mins, no big deal.. Wrong. It's way more complicated than that, and yet, it's not.. At the time, I was scared-- lost with no clue of what I should be doing, and frightened by the concept of how it would be every day..
Now.. I'm pleased that it happened. Sometimes you just have to be vulnerable and not know what to do next in order to get a better understanding of what's really happening. Still, I hate not being in control of the situations I get into. I never really dealt with fear too well. I say usually it's "change" that scares me, but really, it's not knowing what comes next, and not being able to think quickly and solve for x. But...I'm glad this came about. I'm better than my best on the next try. That's been my life's motto.
In other news, the new laptop is pretty killer. Like most things that I own, it's a tried and true setup; and with any luck, I'll feel confident enough to start writing again. For whatever reason, I tend to do better with either pen/paper, or a laptop.. I infrequently wrote well on a pc-- Guess this is just more personal. Not sure.
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