Balderdash! The Leftovers #1: Animal Pals Edition

With The Stars:

Madame Nin E. Goat

Cassius W. Raccoon, esq.

                         





&






                                 Mayor Robert 'Bob' Owl
              




                                                                            


 







                                 Sydney Ann P. Squirrel

Recorded in front of a rough approximation of a studio audience.

Shot on location at: (What was once) Rose Petal Studios

Around Summer, 2014

Yes, well, um... hello there, and welcome to a very special lost archives episode of Balderdash! It's been, as you may have noticed, some time since we've have had any episodes to speak of, much less the actual ability to indeed post episodes, as the old infamous studio has long since gone caput. Also, on a side note, the very last two episodes long since considered stolen, had been finally recovered in our producer's apartment, along with the keys to the studio, the flashing Balderdash logo, two plane tickets to Maui, and the head of our producer... Hmmm.

But nevermind that, my dear audience! You're here for the goods, to be entertained; to know that despite the end of an era and the death of a no good back stabbing swindler and the bankruptcy of a once thriving popular production company now in tatters, The Show Must Go On!

Towards the end of our long running series, we had been at a loss to come up with guests (well, guests who were willing to work for mere prestige and the joy of it...read: peanuts) But, animals being the warm and kind humanitarians that they are (We had some random pet food left over from a busted Cat commercial we were shooting that fell through. The cats, evidently, are too good to work for us. No matter. Things have a way of working out.) agreed to come and help us out for this edition. So, armed with a camera, a few lights still working, and our beautiful guests (and their animal whisperer/translator/clean up after-er, Mark, a.k.a. the last intern foolish, umm gracious enough to stay on), we set out to create this next to last ever episode of your old favorite and mine, the one, the only, Balderdash!

Okay kids, let's bring it out!

1. Names: "Valentina Terreshkova"

SAPS: The first Russian woman to put sour cream in Borscht.

*CWR: The first woman astronaut.

MNEG: First Russian female gold medalist in ice skating in 84 years.

MRO: The lovely assistant of Patricko Sajakov.

(Topical. I think he solved the puzzle.)

2. Laws: "In Montreal, Quebec, it is unlawful to..."

MNEG: ...spin on the Ferris wheel before lunch.

SAPS: ...to take more than one child to a hockey game.

CWR: ...to take more than one wafer at mass.

*MRO: ...to take more than one seat on a park bench.




3. Movie Titles: "All The Way Boys"
CWR: A high school comedy about members of a chess team who compete to lose their virginity.


MNEG: Three young men endure hardship and heartbreak throughout World War II.


*MRO: A couple of bumbling adventurers crash land an airplane in the Andes Mountains.


SAPS: The story of twins drafted to the Army and their unlikely journey in saving a whole city.






4. Words: "Trocar"
MRO: The original cry of one who loses a horse in a deadly sad swamp.


SAPS: Species of wrens.


*CWR: Surgical instrument stuck in the side of a cow to relieve gas pressure caused by overeating.


MNEG: A type of fish named after the warriors of Troy


　




5. Words: "Drintling"
SAPS: The droplets of water that come from a dripping faucet.


*MNEG: A group of two of more turkeys.


MRO: What happens when a Martian drools in his sleep.


CWR: A subclass of Dryad worshipped by northern Celtic sects.


　




6. Names: "Harry Burt"
CWR: Inventor of the hot wax method of hair removal.


*SAPS: Created the "Good Humor" ice cream bar.


MNEG: The inventor of the Tilt-A-Whirl.


MRO: The first man to artificially inseminate a cow.






7. Abbreviations: "CCCI"
*MRO: Coca-Cola Collectors Club




MNEG: Canadian Corporation of Cuties, International


SAPS: Court Certified Clinicians Institution


CWR: Chicago Cream Cheese Institute






8. Laws: "In Suffolk, England, it is a criminal offense to snooze..."
*SAPS: ...loudly around pigeons.


MNEG: ...on the surrey on the way to the office.


CWR: ...while in a public library.


MRO: ...with the barnyard animals after 2pm.






9. Names: "Robert Wild"
CWR: Actor known for his work on Canadian soap operas.


MRO: Ate 22 clementines and was visited by 3 ghosts. OoOoOo...


*MNEG: First doctor to use Ultrasound.


SAPS: Created the game Spin-The-Bottle.


　




10. Words: Plumbum
CWR: A tool using weights and pulleys to determine exact vertical lines.\


*SAPS: The scientific word for lead.


MNEG: A medical condition in babies and toddlers that presents itself in the form of a deep purple derriere.


MRO: The aftermath of sitting for too long on a frosty sidewalk curb.

Well, our special good time compadres, that about does it for this episode of Balderdash! Thank you thank you thank you for coming along for the ride. You know something, without your patronage and support, we would be the little engine that couldn't. Aw. You're beautiful people, and we mean that. Sooo, we've got one more left in the can, pals.. and while we would love to say we've saved the best for last, there's really no way we're entirely sure of that. Up until very recently, we haven't had the resources to screen this episode nor the proper space with which to pretend to compile it. It's been a long road...but a road we've felt priviledged to travel. Speaking of roads....what good would a path like this be without some... detours...?

What detours you ask?

　

Why only the blazingly beautiful bounty of Bonus Games of course!

*Bonus Games*

*1. Words: "Werdrobe"

*SAPS: Badger droppings.

CWR: An extinct songbird native to Germany.

MNEG: A hummus-like dip popular in Kenya.

MRO: The first word in the old English nursery rhyme "Werdrobe Werdrobe, Right Theredrobe"

*2. Abbreviations: "PLOW"

MNEG: Please Love Our World

*CWR: Petunia Lovers of the World

MRO: Parakeet Lovers of Washington

SAPS: Public Locations Overnight Watch

*3. Words: "Fucatorium"

*MRO: The wishbone of a turkey.

SAPS: Factory where trocars are made.

MNEG: A factory in Washington that makes bird houses for parakeets.

CWR: Ancient Roman surgical center.

............

Oh yes I can hear you..

"What? Wait. You can't be serious. How could you do this to us, you cruel old bozo, you?

NO BONUS MOVIE GAMES? AHHHHHH!"

　

Whoa whoa. Calm down,buddy. I was just letting it simmer. You know, the old leave you wanting more gimmick. Don't worry..here you go... There.. All better.

Now. Who's your friend? :)

*4. Movie Titles: "The Amazing Mr. X"

*MNEG: A not-quite-dead man tries to defraud his widow who isn't really a widow because the dead man isn't dead.

CWR: Following the sudden demise of Mr. Y, Mr. X finds himself thrust into leadership over a band of supernatural misfits.

SAPS: A bashful scientist played by the handsome George Wallace saves his town with a science experiment.

MRO: Hallmark Entertainment proudly presents the exciting adventures of a down and out inventors whose generic store brands one day save the world...a few cents.

*5. Movie Titles: "The Beautiful Blond From Bashful Bend"

*SAPS: Betty Grable stars as a pistol packing saloon girl who is mistaken as the town's new school teacher.

MNEG: The story of boy plucked from obscurity to find fame as a model and spokesman. That's right, it's Fabio!

(Would you watch this? Because...if you did.. I just might. Just putting that out that.)

CWR: A tale of the struggles of a young Englishwoman finding herself grown up, shy, and in London.

MRO: Heartwarming story of a girl looking for love and romance in all the wrong places until she leaves the states and marries The Chocolate Covered Count From Katmandu.

(About as plausible as the Fabio story, wouldn't you say?)

The Players:

　
MNEG: Whoville

CWR:    Suki

MRO:    Jimmy

With Special Guest:
SAPS:   Melissa S.