I've been questioning the why, when I really ought to be considering the why not. The phrase is both contrived and cliched, but it's been ringing its frequent bell in my mind for some time now. Why should I be so concerned with the reasons for not doing things, when the attitude I should be adopting is one of a laxed "let what will happen, happen." type of contention. The mind is frequently torn between the things I supposedly can effectively control and the all of the unknown variables that I have to deal with/participate in on a regular basis. Screw it. No matter what circumstances I will encounter, no matter how often (or not) the window of good fortune smiles upon me, I will continue to age. While that tends to be viewed as a negative connotation(God knows I've feared it over the years)one thing remains clear. To age is to permit personal growth.
Whatever happens, I've found a phrase that continues to endure-- words that seem to continually ring true--
"Nevertheless, I am here."
Like much of what I compose, I am uncertain as to its meaning...but again, it all comes down to age. Things change, meanings change. Time may pass, yet the newness of tomorrow can enrich our experiences..can make concepts that were once so foreign and difficult to process be the very things that help shape and define our path. Summation--new meaning, new purpose and a better(entirely possible) understanding of self.
That brings me up every time I think of it.