The dam breaks..

Although it may not look like it, I actually have been making strides to enact my New Year's resolutions, specifically the writing bit.. Yes, yes, I know what will come of that thought--the lack of output and proof, and all of the usual hub-bub(and by this I'm referring to my own in terms of things I may have said or currently say..) about how the muse doesn't have anything for me to 'say' or how I'm lost in my own world and can't find a boat back to the creative shores of my written voice.. Blah blah boo hoo noise noise. Yes, there is that to contend with.

Despite all of that, the process of creativity has still been flowing through me, though without any subsequent volumes arising from it. In terms of this process, I'd have to say it's been mostly an internal experience in that I have been thinking, pondering, questing, what have you on some ideas, some 'scenes', as I tend to see them. For me, writing is both to do with the hands forming/shaping the journey, and the inner version of yourself seeing scenes from the 'mindfilm' playing on...And just like that, when you're least expecting to see the new feature, it comes to you..in scattered bit and pieces, like a memory from some crazy vaseline lensed dream.

The logic in this statement probably seems foreign and off balance, but I'm sure you can understand the meaning if you were to consider...an idea that came to you that was so vivid you could actually put yourself in it--like if you were asked to recall something that really makes you smile or something that may have happened to you that affected your outlook. It would be pristine, near crystal clear. That's what the mindfilm is. It's a sharp image that can be manipulated, freeze framed, and ultimately incorporated into something more than the sum of its own parts.

That's what I've been doing...not writing so much, but moreso plotting ideas..drafting dreams.

And in doing so, I've been referencing things I've done before but to little success. One such idea of old is that of creating a weekly series of vignettes; not necessarily anything that's related to one large fullscale idea, but more the drips and drabs of things that could loosely come together at a moment's notice. It's more the mindfilm scenes muddled together with some slapdashery, spliced and performed every week without a true focus..or is there. I love a good puzzle, and that's just what they are... You don't have much a clue about the origins of these sudden windows, but while you view them, you're there.. It's a living thing, if abstractly so.

So, yeah, that's where it's at right now. Dabbling dabbling on...always that way, even if it doesn't appear like such. The problem(or at least, one of the problems, that is..) that arises here is that I haven't a clue what these little weekly jaunts into my mind will be. I only know that I've been seeing flashes of ideas, of subplots and life-sized yet confused sides(often readings for auditions that give only the vaguest impression of the whole feature)...

Forgive the ramble. It's almost as if I haven't said anything for months. Pfft. (Insert snide look with undercurrent of hand slapping forehead moment here.)

One further bit... I'm wondering if I should write them first then record them vocally...The act would serve two purposes then--sometimes both the writer and the performer require expression...the self is often better served when all within are maintained and satisfied. That's something I tend to neglect and only ever understand when the moment allows me to step back and see it. So, yes. Things are brewing.

In what direction, I do not yet know..