It seems the longer I neglect this blog, the more I forget the reasons behind having it.
The trouble here is that in being sick, I lose both the desire and the caring about writing anything at all--be it something with substance, something real and worth sharing...or just stupid random crap that amuses about two people in the world, including myself.
Sick sucks. It saps your strength, your personal character, and leaves you with the true feeling of nothingness---Trying to cope with it is madness.
Thought: Is it worse being sick when you're older? Being a kid, it's just sad being sick--it takes up your time, you can't play or be rambunctious or annoy your parents with your usual random kid stuff. I'm finding it to be tougher when older.. You have things you want to do, places to be, and the general feeling of self-worth diminishes when you don't feel much like yourself. Actually, I think I retract the thought.. It's pretty similar, the two. Key difference is who you complain to and what sort of crap(be it adult: job, or kid: school and what have you) you have to endure during the day. The feeling low and not wanting to do anything worthwhile stays the same, I think.
Still. I don't feel fully like me. I hate that alot.
In other news, people have been rediscovering my work on FictionPress and commenting lately... Not sure how to feel about that. It's good to be read and appreciated, but most of that stuff was written when I didn't care about how things sounded. Really I just wrote to write. Still, the idea that people still read those things gets me caring about it again. Suppose that's a good thing. No real yen to resume as yet...but the curiosity does linger.
Lastly, people have been buzz buzzing about Lost and finales and so forth. Honestly, I'm just taking it at my pace. Sometime back when I had oodles of free time to fetter away, I sat through all of the 1st and 2nd Seasons--really eager to dive right in and watch the whole show from beginning to end. Now, I'm trying to do that again, albeit a little slower and with a little more appreciation for the actions. I figure it's much nicer this way, and now more especially with the show being over. Really just go at my pace, not listening to spoilers or everyone's particular brand of commentary on it. You really can't get a full sense of the experience through second and third handed reports. I won't lie about it. I am curious about what happens to these characters, and from some folks, it's very cool to get their bird's eye of the show and compare what we know about it.. But really.. it's just always turned out well to get on with it with your own scope, with your ideas and feelings on it...Personal is almost always best.
1 comment:
I think it was way better being sick as a kid. In my experience, my mother tried to make those days as easy on me as possible. She would have me take a bath, and while I was in there reading the latest Babysitters Club book or whatnot, she'd be changing my sheets, moving in our little piece of crap tv, pouring me a cold glass of orange juice, and writing me a note. Looking back, that's what I remember most about being sick. She was so comforting and caring. That's why when I'm sick like this, I can't help but cry, "I want my mama."
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