Balderdash!: Lost Episodes-- Ep. III "80's Cartoon Heroes Edition"

Starring:


He- Man










She-Ra











Jem












Liono










Voltron














&

Filling in last moment for Transformer's Optimus Prime, G.I. Joe's Duke, Robotech, Dangermouse and all of the happy creatures at the 25th Annual CareBears/Smurfs/Wuzzles/Snorks mixer:

Let's hear it for Casey Jones!














Recorded in front of a live studio audience
Shot on location at Rose Petal Studios
Discovered on: 1/18/10



Well, howdy howdy howdy, sports fans, and welcome to
another exciting edition of Balderdash!

First and foremost, all of us here at Balderdash would like to take this opportunity to wish you a happy and safe new year!

2010, huh?

That just sounds crazy enough to be real!

As you know, it's been quite some time between games, and we figured what better way to make up for this than to release a special one from the vaults.. Oooh! That's right kids! You've found yourself at one of the most exciting events to hit anywhere in the civilized blogosphere!

Yessir, we've rounded up some of your old time classic 80's cartoon hero favorites for just one night--

They're all set to duke it out and show just who's boss in another heartpounding rollercoastering edition of Balderdash!

So break out your action figures and hang on tight..because....


We're ready to go!





1. Words- "Glossarium"

S: A boutique where expensive French lip gloss is sold.

CJ: A library filled with nothing but glossaries on every subject.

L: A large cosmetic display case.

H: A shop full of globes and maps of countries and cities from around the world.

*V: A mosquito's tongue



2. People- "H.E. Rickel"

H: Famous for suffocating after shoving fifty dollars worth of quarters in his mouth in an attempt to rob the bank he worked at.

V: Led British forces to victory in South Africa.

S: Directed such films as "Groovy Gals" and "Disco-Mania".

L: A 1950's steel union boss, he coined the term "scabs" to refer to replacement workers.

*J: Nebraska man who could touch his nose with his teeth.

CJ: (Please note-- Poor Casey assumed the reader said "H.E. Rickles.)
Don's little brother who had an unfortunate first name.



3. Abbreviations- "A.K.C."

V: American Kickboxing Club
L: American Knights of Columbus
*CJ: Australian Kangaroo Club
H: American Kennel Club
J: Alcatraz Killers Club
S: American Kennel Club (Clearly, the answer to have here..)



4. Names- "David Jimenez"

J: A performer based in Brazil that has patterned his career exactly after David Hasselhoff's.

*H: He was charged with assault using opossum after the oppossum he was holding had attacked 9 men.

V: Invented a way for rednecks to remember that the "Jim" in his name is pronounced as "Yin" in English.

CJ: Tried to assassinate Mikhail Baryshnikov in 1984.
(Who wouldn't?)

S: Equal rights activist shot in the leg in 1967.

L: Son of Mexican immigrants, he created the first American style burrito- now sold at Taco Bell's nationwide.



5. Laws- "In Chicago, IL, it is illegal to take..."

*L: ...a poodle to the opera.

H: ...down the American flag at City Hall before 8pm.

V: ...a pigeon home with you.

S: ...a bath with your clothes on.

CJ: ...a trip to Motown without visiting the Colonel.
(Once again, Casey missed a step with this one. Sad sad man.)

J: ....coins from the fountain outside the courthouse.


6. Words- "Oogonium"
(The words category was very popular this ep..)

V: Mystic ore mined in the mythic kingdom of Oogabooga.
(Totally plausible.)

J: A natural element found in the La Brea Tar Pits.
Makes you feel good! (The good was underlined. It must be true. :) )

L: A heat-generating ore used by early man.

H: An African flute made from Elephant tusks.

*S: Female reproductive part in fungi which contains one or more co-spheres.

CJ: Concentrated bottled excitement.


7. Abbreviations- "F.O.R.P.C."

V: Fraudulent Orange Reproduction Posse of California

H: Fabricated Orange Rind And Peel Confederation

*L: Frozen Onion Ring Packers Council

S: Friends of the Rose Petal Corporation

CJ: Foundation of Racing Pygmies Corporation

J: Friends of Recycling Program of California


8. Laws- "In CA, it is a crime for a trumpet player to use his..."

CJ: ...powers of persuasion on the flute player to solicit a possible night cap.

V: ....spit valve to water flowers on public property.

H: ....instrument as a megaphone in front of the mayor.

J: ....trumpet to play for the inmates in jail.

L: ....spit valve in a parade.

*S: ....instrument to lure someone into a store.



**The last two games are Movie Titles..
You're as pleased as we are, aren't you!**


9. Movie Titles- "Norman's Awesome Experience"

S: A country boy moves to New York and joins a rock band.

J: Riding the coattails of the "Bill and Ted" movies, Don Knotts stars as a librarian who travels through time.

V: Norman wakes up one morning to find he has become a cow. Crazy antics ensue as he comes to terms with his metamorphism.

*L: A scientific lab assistant is transported through time to the Roman Empire.

CJ: While attending jury duty, Norman, the jury foreman, sentences a clown to lethal injection. (A dream is a wish your heart makes.)

H: Norman has an out of body experience in which he becomes Mary Antoinette during a dental procedure.


10. Movie Titles- "Mee Pok Man"

*V: A time traveling noodle salesman falls in love with a girl in Singapore.

CJ: Set in the distant future of gaming, Tarzan finds himself in a late 80's arcade simulator and makes friends with Pacman.

S: A stranded astronaut finds himself the ruler of an alien planet.

J: A chinese man discovers he has superpowers and saves Shanghai from a mob of prostitute gang-bangers.
(IMHO, one of the best answers of this season.)

H: A neanderthal is warped to the future when he is hit by a meteor to become a superhero in NYC.
(We think H has been spending too much time watching his cartoons..)

L: Mee Pok, savior of planet Bonobo, finds himself stranded on an alien planet and must learn to be human to survive.
(This sounds like our old friend 'Newton'
from The Man Who Fell To Earth.)



And that, dear friends, is the end of this grand episode of Balderdash!
As always we thank you for tuning in, and remember, our favorite childhood heroes, be it He-Man, the members of Thundercats, or the famed glitter rocker Jem and her Holographic friends, are never truly gone--if we don't forget to remember them...

Yes, that was very Kevin Macallisteresque in Home Alone II..

Go ahead. You can "awww." I won't tell.


But.. before we head out...there's a few...


Bonus Games!




*1. Abbreviations- "W.A.W.F"

*J: World Arm Wrestling Federation
H: Wrestling Association of Women Fighters
S: Worldwide Awesome Waffle Foundation
CJ: World Allegiance to Werewolves Foundation
L: Washington Advocates for Wildebeast Farming
V: Wing And Waffle Foundation


*2. Words- "Allantiasis"

L: The asexual form of reproduction that occurs in microscopic deep sea anemones.

S: The old English word for "allen-wrench".

V: The process by which new Allens are created, much like mitosis in cells.
(This plays funnier knowing the guest's last name--"Allen".)

H: Carpal tunnel in the wrist cause by overusing allen wrenches.

J: A disease named after dancer Karen Allen, it results in your toes turning black and shriveling up one by one.

*CJ: Sausage poisoning.
(After all that, it's sausage poisoning? How lame is that.)


*3. Words- "Situtunga"

S: Modern Japanese floral design.

V: Traditional Indian head wrapping.

*H: An antelope with very wide hooves.

J: A device old time dentists used to pull out teeth.

L: The Maori mating ritual.
(Extra Credit:If you happen to know what that really is, feel free to write in--)

CJ: A comfy looking Alaskan easy chair.








Cast of Characters:

He-Man: C4
She-Ra: C2
Jem: Whoville
Liono: Dick
Voltron: Enrico
Casey Jones: Jimmy

*Thanks for playing an awesome all star game, gang. Alot of fun had.*