Thinking..

...tick..tick...tick...tick.....

Click your pen.

Extraneous Thoughts

Had a pad next to me yesterday and the flow presented itself, so I went with it:


I've been questioning the why, when I really ought to be considering the why not. The phrase is both contrived and cliched, but it's been ringing its frequent bell in my mind for some time now. Why should I be so concerned with the reasons for not doing things, when the attitude I should be adopting is one of a laxed "let what will happen, happen." type of contention. The mind is frequently torn between the things I supposedly can effectively control and the all of the unknown variables that I have to deal with/participate in on a regular basis. Screw it. No matter what circumstances I will encounter, no matter how often (or not) the window of good fortune smiles upon me, I will continue to age. While that tends to be viewed as a negative connotation(God knows I've feared it over the years)one thing remains clear. To age is to permit personal growth.

Whatever happens, I've found a phrase that continues to endure-- words that seem to continually ring true--

"Nevertheless, I am here."

Like much of what I compose, I am uncertain as to its meaning...but again, it all comes down to age. Things change, meanings change. Time may pass, yet the newness of tomorrow can enrich our experiences..can make concepts that were once so foreign and difficult to process be the very things that help shape and define our path. Summation--new meaning, new purpose and a better(entirely possible) understanding of self.

That brings me up every time I think of it.

Merging Selves..

If, like me, you've felt that perhaps sometime(maybe soon) I'd continue to carry on with my writing and day to day things, then good on you. It seems I'm starting to break away from the silence, little by little, and in the spirit of that sentiment, I've decided to try and piece together the me from before and the current me into one easy to access location. In other words, I'm bring my old livejournal stuff over here(and let me tell you, that was no pleasure cruise..thanks blogger. You're difficult in that. Had to outsource the work to a dummy Wordpress account then use a converter..long story short, pain in the ass..much. Worth it though.) into a "new" blog which you'll find listed under this one. Make no mistake, Circle 9 is my current and perhaps longterm blogging tool. Every new incident or thought or adventure what have you is going to continue under this heading. I just have been in a state of mind where, for me, to fully know myself is to see what went before..and.. I love the tidiness of having everything in one place.

So there's that. As to where I'm headed, who knows....but you know, I think I prefer it that way. Things are looking up, and I'm going to ride that tide where it will lead.

One other thought as it occurs-- I've been off and through the mill on the whole not writing thing, but it really would be something if I took the last nine years of journaling and made that the book(s) I haven't been writing. It probably wouldn't sell too well, as myself and a handful of others understand (some of) it..and it's not any sort of original idea(people probably do this all the time.), but it sure would be long enough. Anyhow..happy reading.

The Hush Is Rough..

So much has happened since I've done a proper post on here, but I'm still finding it hard to compose my thoughts--it's like I can't sit and just write..it's slow going and I don't have the motivation I once did... Just been a really long dry spell..but I've been grateful for the recent bit of time..it's very been good, that much is certain.

I keep on keeping on, even if my writing voice is quieter, if the phrasing is slower and drawn out.

Still trying...


..still here.


Ps.. Really appreciate your joining on the prayer for L's surgery/recovery..she's doing well(has feeling in hands again and today was found able to open her own cans..really is quite a champ.) Hoping it all continues to improve.

Current thoughts..

Bestie is going into surgery tomorrow.. I know she's going to do great, but say a quick prayer if you can just the same...

More on the lack..

*dusts off blog*

Light through the shadows.

New job this week.. nervous but very pleased about the prospect.

More to come.

Meh to the Nth..

I look at this blog and wonder why I don't just call it "Infrequent Confessions of a Sometime Writer"...

Strickland would have called me a slacker by now.

A brief one on a good day..

Pretty great birthday today...


Had a nice outing with my bestie Lynds to Mr. Popper and his penguin pals (surprisingly good) and a lunch at Red Robin (The waitress was a real bitchy but it was okay cause we were being snarky right back, lol..) It was good times...simple pleasures, man.


I'm just really grateful for being so fortune in having good friends and family( got a chance speak to everyone in my immediate fam back east, which is rare and wonderful) in my life.

Because that's really what it's all about...as I get older, I beginning to understand what matters most. The times you share with people you care about, and remembering where you were at the time.. That's the biggest part.

Chipping Away at It..

I haven't become disaffected..would never happen to me.

I'm just quieter these days..


Birthday is coming. Is it hitting me yet?
Really not sure..

A bit lame but shows promise..

It's all percolating...feeling some real updates coming soon.

Until then..

Have a coke and smile.


It's on me-

..request.

My best friend lost her Grandmother yesterday evening.

Join me in sending her and her family thoughts of love and warmth, won't you..

I still think about this window..

I feel like I've all but abandoned this poor blog with the infrequency/shortness of my posts these days. But it's not intentional really, it's more like I feel I've lost my written voice lately. Yes, yes, it's all for a season with me, I'm either completely absorbed in my musings or I'm seemingly "not giving two shits about it". While both may be true, when I take a minute to reflect on it, it's disheartening that so much of my time is spent pondering on the hows and whys of my current inability to express myself this way and not on the writing itself.

They never said it would be easy, this being older and thinking things through..

Considering doing a podcast sometime soon, don't quote me though..

And another thought as it occurs to me--

....I miss Balderdash eps., don't you?

Unnecessary Post Volume 1.

Oh, what a serious draught I'm having..

-finis

Word Buzzery of the Blurb Variety

Interesting last couple of days. Am glad for most of it. Pleased that things have a way of turning around, sometimes even in my favor. More to come, I'm sure. Probably even in detail, if the mood strikes.

And yes, I realize just how much I suck for the lack of posts lately, but I don't know, the mood hasn't been completely on for me to want to fill a page with my usual meanderings. It's tiresome trying to understand myself, but there are days when the joy is apparent---and abundant.

I'll get back there, I know it.

Lack of Backlog

Still don't have much to say.

..wish I did.

It seems strange to check in only to write that I don't have anything to say..but for me, it helps. It acknowledges the silence and shows some sort of sadness over it. It's almost like a preemptive for the next time I notice my blog...or if the feeling strikes, I can remember how crappy I felt about not saying something.

We'll see how that works out.

Just know that I'm thinking..

Eh. Quiet.

Haven't said much in the last little bit..

..been meaning to rectify that..

Nothing much to report as yet.

Circle 9 Podcast: Ep.II- Dr. Pepper's Happy Meal

So I got a little bored...and did another one.

More of the same from last ep..

Discussing the unnecessary need for adults to "act their age"..
...and other stuff.

Enjoy-



PS.. Busy doing whatever? Click here to listen later..

Circle 9 Podcast- Ep. I: Commercials and the Cosby Comeback

Figured it might be time for one of these..
Topics include commercials/piracy/Cosby Show.

Enjoy~

PS.. If you're short on time, but not on interest, click here...

Blotter.

Writing draught ensues.

Hoping for a pass soon.

At Long Last! Balderdash!: Lost Episodes-- Ep. IV- "MTM Show Edition"

Starring:

Mary Tyler Moore

Ed Asner

Betty White

Gavin MacLeod

And Happily Filling In Last Minute For Valerie Harper:

The One and Only

Mr. Ted Knight!**

**..and yes, he made us say it like that or he wouldn't show up...

Recorded in front of a live studio audience

Shot on location at Rose Petal Studios

Discovered on: 10/16/10

Hello hello and hello again, dear friends, and welcome once again to the best game never played, your familiar friend and mine, Balderdash! At the start of this long awaited reunion, we'd like to take a brief pause for the cause and apologize for the serious lack of episodes. Can you believe we haven't aired a show since early 2010?

What?! Yeah. That's on us, folks. Our bad..Our bad.

*Network does the sign language equivalent of "We're sorry."*

Can you find it in your hearts to forgive us for the truly bad form of this wrong doing?

Good. We thought you might. :)

On our show, we've had guests ranging from the near and far, from current favorites to old tried and trues, some hot shots, hoo-ahhs and has-beens too...A diverse spectacular grouping from the world of sitcoms, cartoons, and storybooks alike.. all quality.. every time...

And in the interest of keeping that time-honored tradition alive,

we are so very proud to present....

Culled from the mothballs(We say this..because we care.) and into your homes one more time, the (almost) entire cast of the hit show Mary Tyler Moore!

Come on, gang, how's about we go dust this game-board off!

Are you with me??

Anddddd away we go!

1. People- "Sasaki Garasu"

MTM: The inventor of a line of Ginsu knives that was killed by his own product during a live infomercial.

*GM: He spent 15 yrs. creating a trombone made entirely of out of glass.

(A worthwhile creation, we're sure..but what happens when you play the thing? Won't it shatter? Or was it just to some sort of elaborate tchotchke? Someone find out and...maybe you'll get a prize.. The prize...of knowledge! I'd buy that for a dollar!)

TK: Strut his stuff in the doughnut industry in the last days of disco.

BW: Creator of chopsticks.

EA: Shinto priest famous for building gokai temples.

2. Words- "Trichobezoar"

BW: n. A three pointed star found after the explosion of a super nova.

GM: A 3-headed creature from ancient Greek mythology.

*EA: A hairball.

MTM: An African gazelle with three eyes.

TK: That which is exclaimed by drunken elves as they bite an intruder's ankle.

3. Abbreviations- "I.B.T.A."

EA: International Broadway Theatrical Academy

GM: Icelandic Beautician's Technical Academy

MTM: International Beautiful Toddlers Association

(Hrm...Suppose they have a boardroom and a chairman and semi annual meetings?)

*TK: International Baton Twirling Association

BW: International Bureau of Travelers Affairs

4. People- "Walter Snippe"

GM: Inventor of the Sniper rifle.

BW: Founder of McCormick Spices

*EA: He invented dog diapers.

TK: Rabbi who performed the world's 1st circumcision.

MTM: The inspiration for Yosemite Sam.

(We here at KJMY prefer to believe this answer. Thank you.)

5. Words- "Werdrobe"

*BW: Badger droppings.

(Those stinking badgers!)

TK: An incorrect Utah respelling of 'wardrobe'.

(Low blow there, Ted. Low blow.)

MTM: Companion piece to a wardrobe, transports the character to the land of Sherobia in a series of books similar to the Chronicles of Narnia.

EA: A mythical shape-changer from Chilean scripture.

GM: An extensive wardrobe for werewolves.

6. Abbreviations- "A.T.S."

EA: American Tactical Squad

*GM: American Tarantula Society

TK: Acrobatic Transylvanian Society

("Look Batty, dear, a fangs out triple aerial assault! Beauuutiful.)

MTM: Alabama Telecommunications System

BW: Academy of Theatrical Studies

7. Names- "Max McGee"

(Noticing a theme yet?)

EA: A private detective known for his sarcasm. Inspiration for the Sam&Max series of video games.

BW: The owner of the McGee sporting line.

GM: From the Mr. Magoo multiverse comics, Max McGee was Mr. Magoo's alter-ego.

*MTM: He made the first touchdown in Superbowl history.

TK: Loved volcanoes, in fact, fell in one.

8. Laws (Something different? No way!)

"In Andorra, upon discovering a corpse, a sheriff must.."

GM: Check its pockets for loose change.

*EA: Administer CPR, no matter how long the victim's been dead.

(I'm sure that's a treat.)

MTM: Shoot his gun into the air 3 times and do a jig to keep the corpse's spirit from possessing his body.

BW: Ask "Are you dead?" three times.

TK: Turn into a zombie himself and inspire the corpse to come alive with his fancy dance moves.

9. Names- "Milton Loeb"

(Wow, that was short lived.)

TK: 1st man to throw a chocolate shake at ducks in the park.

*MTM: The inventor of the Brillo pad.

BW: The inventor of the Clapper.

EA: Member of Leopold & Loeb, the first two person serial killer team.

GM: Milton and his brother Bradley started a board game empire with the classic "Monopoly" game.

10. Words- "Proggers"

EA: A sporty men's shoe popular in the 1950's.

*TK: Professional clam diggers.

MTM: Blue-tongued salamanders found in Arizona & New Mexico.

GM: A lame attempt by some programmers to come up with a hip and trendy nickname for their occupation.

BW: The name of a leapfrog type game that is popular in St. Olaf.

(St. Olaf? Is Betty hinting at another show...hmmm.)

Well friends, that about wraps things up for yet another heart palpating episode of Balderdash! As always, thanks for coming along for ride. You know just how much we looove that you tune in, and sincerely hope that some more episodes turn up in the vault...

....and with more Movie Titles gosh by golly darn it!

We knew you were going to ask!

We had to ask ourselves!

But, you know, we could never end a proper game of Balderdash without....

....Bonus Games!

*1- Movie Titles- "Henry's Night In"

*MTM: A man mixes up a magic formula and becomes invisible whenever he sneezes. He leaves his nagging wife and starts spying on his nosey neighbors.

EA: 18-year old Henry O'Toole is grounded for life. His friends bring the party to him and the fun is so great it attracts the dead.

(Must ask..What type of fun are you kids having that would attract the dead, Henry?)

BW: Set in 1912, this documentary is about Joe Henry, the inventor of the "Oh Henry" candy bar.

GM: Patrick spends the night soul-searching and comes to a spiritual awakening. He then wakes up forgetting his dream.

TK: What happened after "Hank's Morning Out".

The stars were:

Mary Tyler Moore: Whoville

Ed Asner: Dick

Betty White: Jaymes

Gavin McLeod: Michael

Ted Knight: Himself..

..or it could've been that Jimmy kid.

Some thoughts of late..

A couple of big dos this week..been on my mind a bit..


Most noteworthy of these is the "informal meeting" for the new job... and while I'm typically flippant about jobs and how in the end, I somehow tend to usually come out on top...in actuality, I've really been crossing fingers for this one..

I've mentioned in the past when a "good" job came my way...and how I hoped at the time that it would be one that I could find myself truly enjoying and seeing potential for a longer stay.


I'd really love to see that happen for this one.

The trouble with me is that I set a high standard in expectations for these things, and get sorta unbearably distraught when things don't go the way I'd hoped. So, in keeping with that idea, I'm just going to be patient and see it through. It's the best thing right now.

Honestly, for me, one of the best words in the English language is prospects. While it may be similar to one of our all time despised words "potential"(because really, when others suggest it, it tends to sound so condescending.. but perhaps I may just be projecting on that.. not sure..), to me, it suggests the idea that good things may very well be right around the corner...just need to look.

Wrote recently.. that felt right to me. The trouble with having a talent is wanting it on your own terms...full time inspiration, being ready to go at a moment's notice. It doesn't always work that way. You have to see yourself in the mold of what you truly are before you can act on the dreams/plans you desire. I'm still learning that...but when I do get that urge to flow free, it's a gift...even if it's brief. It's still that.

And now the question of the day:

Who's your favorite slacker?

I am! I am!

Ever just have a slow news day? Of course you have. I do too from time to time. Nothing really substantial/worthwhile to add to things, and feeling that if I were to cobble together some mundane cyanidial fluff on here, it would be hashed out to no decent effect.

That said...there's been a lingering balderdash that I haven't put up...and it seems that there's been some readers in the shadows who have acknowledged this in a third party type fashion...

Don't worry...there's a fair chance that I'll one day be focused enough to sit down and get it all done.

Not sure as to when...but it's appreciated to know that there are some that remember these things. :)

Y'know, it kinda feels like I've been..

Quite the slacker around here.. but frankly, I haven't had much to say. It's like when I do get the yen to write on here, it's in the wee hours or I'm not near a place I can jot the thoughts down digitally.

So. Yeah. Does it bother me when I don't write for a while on here?

Sure it does.

But rather than force what does come naturally(when it does that is), I won't say much.

Like now?

Yep. Like now.

After Island Thoughts..

Most television shows are blown out of proportion; tagged and shown as some sort of amazing new thing to be cherished. Media campaigns, commercials every five mins, thoughts and reviews from trades and critics, all the marketing glub glub that you can handle is thrown out there. I was one of those people who didn't take much from the hype, never one to follow trends or get absorbed in what was considered 'popular'.

But then, every once in a good long while, a show comes along and owns up to its reputation.

And honestly...LOST makes me glad to be so very wrong..and lets me see that there's hope yet in this "ideas wrung to the last drop of creativity" world that we live in.. It does my heart good to know that some folks still dream up these little magic gems to inspire us for that briefly windowed 45 mins of brilliance.

Simply put.. it was entertainment at its best.

Season 6 is amazing. I urge you to see it if you haven't already.

On reviewing my work at fictionpress...I've come to wonder...

Are my scratches of prose truly that 'out there' so as to detract from those with mainstream eyes/sensibilities?

Or.. do they tend to fall more along the lines of...

What the hell are you talking about?
What's with all this meandering crapitude?

I know only myself, and in that, yes, I do find me to be a tad eccentric..but really though.. do my writings make sense at least? It's hard to maintain focus when you can't get a grasp of the words, I understand the concept.. but I can only hope that my english at least seems...readable?

Hmmm. I've got nothing on that.


In other news, Supernatural ended well..ish in Season 5. Has me thinking. Really hoping Season 6 is just as good if not better. Hearing rumors that our boys are going back to basics..(ie hunt, chat, cardshark, puns/eff'n great dialogue bits). Jimmy Beav's twitter keeps hinting about some awesomeness on the rise..

But... before that..

A few lingering things staying with me on S5's 'conclusion':

1. Chuck=God?

2. Sam in the closing shots..
A. How did he escape?
B. Is he still filled with a few millenniums worth of evil?
C. Was that a sadness/guilt ridden/bittersweet happiness for Dean&Lisa look on his face or one of "You'll soon feel my pissed off wrath...?"


Curiosity ensues.

The Unexpected Never Fails To Entertain..

--Note--
This entry is going to be mostly relayed through the parenthesis sections. Apologies for that, but they tend to expand on the surface sentences...as per my usual. Thanks. :)



Had a pretty good day yesterday.. Went to parents to recently discovered(only ever knew about one of their neighbors, but across the way is this whole other set of neighbors..it's like they've only just been painted into the scene, mostly because this is the first I'm hearing of them.. whatever the case may be... I prefer them so far to the ones I've met..but more on that later.)but favorably pleasant neighbors house for holiday cheer and downtime. Those folks definitely understand the joy of that-- we didn't do much, drank a little vino, ate wayyy too well/much(Best to mention that our hosts were Italian and very gracious..that..and my mother makes a very sexy Chicken Marsala pizza..her others are great, but this one stands out..), and had little discussions along the way.

Turns out that the lady host is an aspiring writer who actually went to the Gotham Workshop in the city(yeah, I had that dream too, but I can't fathom paying that much to be taught things I learned in hs and fully understanding that most of the funding goes to critiquing my work..which I can, if lucky, 'inspire' others to do for free.. still, I always wanted to go.. You know the story, big city, big dreams, having others like me to bounce ideas off...yeahh..), and from there, it goesssss..

Long story short, it was a nice afternoon, and doubly nicer to find both cordial hosts and a fellow kindred familiar with the pen..

2011 arrives...and begins with a prayer..

Oh, please, let this year...be my year.

Let me claim this one for me...for goodness and mercy..and lessen my usual poor judgement and silly pride..

Let it enrich me with its lessons, let it teach me the courage to hope and to fill lingering hollowness to the brim with genuine love and gratitude..

May others come to prosper as bountifully as I will be with these simple gifts..

...and if at all possible, please enlighten me with just a fraction of understanding into all the neverending hows and whys of my life...

..thank you..