Extraneous Thoughts

Had a pad next to me yesterday and the flow presented itself, so I went with it:


I've been questioning the why, when I really ought to be considering the why not. The phrase is both contrived and cliched, but it's been ringing its frequent bell in my mind for some time now. Why should I be so concerned with the reasons for not doing things, when the attitude I should be adopting is one of a laxed "let what will happen, happen." type of contention. The mind is frequently torn between the things I supposedly can effectively control and the all of the unknown variables that I have to deal with/participate in on a regular basis. Screw it. No matter what circumstances I will encounter, no matter how often (or not) the window of good fortune smiles upon me, I will continue to age. While that tends to be viewed as a negative connotation(God knows I've feared it over the years)one thing remains clear. To age is to permit personal growth.

Whatever happens, I've found a phrase that continues to endure-- words that seem to continually ring true--

"Nevertheless, I am here."

Like much of what I compose, I am uncertain as to its meaning...but again, it all comes down to age. Things change, meanings change. Time may pass, yet the newness of tomorrow can enrich our experiences..can make concepts that were once so foreign and difficult to process be the very things that help shape and define our path. Summation--new meaning, new purpose and a better(entirely possible) understanding of self.

That brings me up every time I think of it.

Merging Selves..

If, like me, you've felt that perhaps sometime(maybe soon) I'd continue to carry on with my writing and day to day things, then good on you. It seems I'm starting to break away from the silence, little by little, and in the spirit of that sentiment, I've decided to try and piece together the me from before and the current me into one easy to access location. In other words, I'm bring my old livejournal stuff over here(and let me tell you, that was no pleasure cruise..thanks blogger. You're difficult in that. Had to outsource the work to a dummy Wordpress account then use a converter..long story short, pain in the ass..much. Worth it though.) into a "new" blog which you'll find listed under this one. Make no mistake, Circle 9 is my current and perhaps longterm blogging tool. Every new incident or thought or adventure what have you is going to continue under this heading. I just have been in a state of mind where, for me, to fully know myself is to see what went before..and.. I love the tidiness of having everything in one place.

So there's that. As to where I'm headed, who knows....but you know, I think I prefer it that way. Things are looking up, and I'm going to ride that tide where it will lead.

One other thought as it occurs-- I've been off and through the mill on the whole not writing thing, but it really would be something if I took the last nine years of journaling and made that the book(s) I haven't been writing. It probably wouldn't sell too well, as myself and a handful of others understand (some of) it..and it's not any sort of original idea(people probably do this all the time.), but it sure would be long enough. Anyhow..happy reading.

The Hush Is Rough..

So much has happened since I've done a proper post on here, but I'm still finding it hard to compose my thoughts--it's like I can't sit and just write..it's slow going and I don't have the motivation I once did... Just been a really long dry spell..but I've been grateful for the recent bit of time..it's very been good, that much is certain.

I keep on keeping on, even if my writing voice is quieter, if the phrasing is slower and drawn out.

Still trying...


..still here.


Ps.. Really appreciate your joining on the prayer for L's surgery/recovery..she's doing well(has feeling in hands again and today was found able to open her own cans..really is quite a champ.) Hoping it all continues to improve.

Current thoughts..

Bestie is going into surgery tomorrow.. I know she's going to do great, but say a quick prayer if you can just the same...

More on the lack..

*dusts off blog*

Light through the shadows.

New job this week.. nervous but very pleased about the prospect.

More to come.

Meh to the Nth..

I look at this blog and wonder why I don't just call it "Infrequent Confessions of a Sometime Writer"...

Strickland would have called me a slacker by now.

A brief one on a good day..

Pretty great birthday today...


Had a nice outing with my bestie Lynds to Mr. Popper and his penguin pals (surprisingly good) and a lunch at Red Robin (The waitress was a real bitchy but it was okay cause we were being snarky right back, lol..) It was good times...simple pleasures, man.


I'm just really grateful for being so fortune in having good friends and family( got a chance speak to everyone in my immediate fam back east, which is rare and wonderful) in my life.

Because that's really what it's all about...as I get older, I beginning to understand what matters most. The times you share with people you care about, and remembering where you were at the time.. That's the biggest part.

Chipping Away at It..

I haven't become disaffected..would never happen to me.

I'm just quieter these days..


Birthday is coming. Is it hitting me yet?
Really not sure..

A bit lame but shows promise..

It's all percolating...feeling some real updates coming soon.

Until then..

Have a coke and smile.


It's on me-